Superficial world..confirmed!

Dissapointment with the world i realise was not what i felt personally, I actually found a friend who feels the same way! Stephanie! High five!So happy. It is not only me alone feeling that the worl judges its book by its cover. " don't judge a book by its cover' haha! What ever crap essay that i wrote in high school does not exist in the real world! Wake up junie!

Life is a single's journey/....don't u think so? ok...so let's say u r married, u still have to live ur own life, dont u. Like mum and dad, everyone in the house goe to work masing-masing, comes back at different times, then they masing-masing do their own stuff.then sleep. everything on own. its just the presence is felt. I guess..love is just like that....action speak louder than words..that is so true...and even just by being present, that is enough, that is love...well..spoken..loud and clear...how nice it is to be in love........

Chun Mun's stag party

Went to Chun Mun's stag party today. He is so romantic. Wrote a 5 page long love poem for the girl just to ask her : would u be my gf?. THen he made a home-made video just to propose to her? HE said the first time he heard her voice on the hp, he knew she was the one! possibile a not? sounds too good to be true. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm always wonder when will my turn be... and if it be my turn, how is it gonna be? Dare not expect much though as the more u expect, the greater the dissapointment will be. Oh well, I am just gonna let it be whatever and leave it as a surprise, no point hoping so much as it is still a looooooooooooooong journey, i think.

Good guys? extinct already la. except...maybe for my dad and grandpa. But, u say single good guys?no la...dun think can find. If got also good girls, aplenty! Example? my hoisemates lo! No one can beat them man!! And Adeline Siew also!. I keep praising them right? Ya, because they are really good people, their heart and sould, body and mind, all out for God, it is as though they no longer belong to themselve, everything they do, they do it all for GOd, not to show people how good they are, not to boast, but you can truly see it is from the bottom of their heart. Even when in finding partners. It is as though they don't care anymore. SO long a GOd is with them, they are contented already. Many of us today feel as though we are incomplete without a partner, but , it is not true at all. From the lives of my housemates and the christian friends I had in Glasgow, I could see just how complete life can be with God alone.

Out of final fantasy

Seems like after graduation I have been thinking about a lot of things, of work, finance, family, boyfriends, etc....just a whole bundle! Its really funny how what the systme taught us in our high school is so different from reality. Now, i tend to understand why they sing those songs ( etc. Avril avinge song, cranberries ) . They say money is not important, but, in reality it is, without money u can do nothing. But then again, it is such a rat race world , i have come ot a point that, enough i never enough, no matter how rich u r , u will always desire more, so the best it to be contented and happy with watever u have. Not to say that so contented that u jus fold u arms and live a it is. COntnted to such a point that u do not covet, that way u can progress healthily. But, watever it is, helath and happiness are the two most important things in life. And how do u atttain these? Through having a good relationship with God and your family. Seriously, I have tried staying away fr these two things, tried mixing wih the world, see how it goes....but...it was all emptiness....nothing was as fulfilling as having God a my Saviour and my Famlily as my backbone. I am saying that ur family are really important in ur life. They have seen u through thick and thin... and will always be there for u especially ur mum!

How about friends? haih...after being out in the world to work, when i compare the xtian friend and non-xtian friend, i truly see a big diffence between them. In the xtian friends, I see contentment, selflessness, grace, kindness, forgiveness, holiness. But, the non-xtian friends, they do not say what they mean ( and many times I kena conned! ) Do you know how much it hurts to kena 'conned' ? even if it be for joking purposes. I know..they jut kidding but still...if u say something, u have to mean it! That is what Vivian always say :" you have to mean what u say' you don't say sorry simply, or thank u simply, u haveto mean it from the bottom of ur heart! but, no, some ppl are jut so superficial , they make friend with u jus because they know u might be of value to them in future . Haih...so disapointed with this cut-throat world man! Why can't lofe be a simple as abc. we make friends because we love them just like Jesus Loved us no matter who we are, what colour or how rich we are. If only everything was jus as pure it is, wouldn's the world be a better place?

There is really much o learn fr thi real world. I am really truly shockd out of my ideal fantasy world. I am awaken. Fairy tales are not true, now only do i realise they are mere fairy tales and have resolved to not read any of these fairy tale book. There are o prince charming, no cinderella, u have to work everything out with your bare hands! It is really so painfu to know that prince charming can never happen to you, but oh well, what to do, what is yours is yours, what is not is not, everything is in God's hand.

Growing Up

Went to many places today. Instead of staying at home being depressed , I went to Mum's CG and then later to Suet Ling's Birthday party. It is indeed shocking and weird to see ppl growing and changing. Its funny. It is as though you jus cant control it. I jut realise that u really cannot control anything that happens around you. Just like after a year, Zi Ying, ZI XIng, Zi Ning, ZI han, wow,,they have all grown sooo tall..u just cant control, cant comprehend. I really think that I am really thinking to much. I have wasted my precious youth 5 years trying to control that which i cant. I hope its not too late to turn back time yet. It is only now that my hormones are running. WHy did I ever chose the path which damage me.. I have so much to offer to the world, look at how i bright up the life of the hp man, and the lady buying ice-cream....I have so much to offer to the world! WHy give it up just for one stupid absurd thing! I have lost 5 precious years.

It is only throough my 1 year living with my precious, gracious housemates that I truly realise that I can be accepted as who I am no matter who I turn out to be and I really owe my life to them. Without them, I would have been dead without me evern realising it. It was them who woke me up, who gave me back my self worth. Although the journey is still long, and although each of us has gone our own way, I believe, iN CHrist we are a family and I hope, Vivian, Joyce, Anna, that we will stay as friends forever. THanks for everything, I know thouand thank Yous are just not enough.. but I truly from the bottom of my heart, thank you and thank you again. Because of u guys, I continue to live today and wil continue to do so even though all odds all evil temptation comes by, everytime they come, i wil remember what u guys always say especially Joyce's words : ' Don't even think about it "


I will not.......i will try ....i will try....until the battle is won....the day when I become victorious over this , that is the day, I realy mut have a massive celebration! and u guys will be my bridesmaid!