Birthday
well...birthday was long time ago...but. am really blessed to have real good friends to celebrate with. 21 this year...old di.hehe...with 21 comes loads and loads of unwanted proble, i think
my best friend who just came back from singapore wanted to throw me a surprise party.but...too bad, i found out about it ..hehe. mum wanted to throw me a big bash party, then, i tot, who am i to desreve a party,,i am just a nobody, who would want to celebrate with me?if it were not for my cg friends in uni and my high school best friend, i would have again been a loner on my birthday. but, i really do wanna tahnk them a big deal and all my uni freinds, even if it were be just greeting me ' HAppy Birthday" was enough to make me feel so special on my supposedly special day. Every bday, i sure will cry wan. crying not of laughter, but crying bcoz i am sad, and that's bcoz of my bday. Ever since form 3 , i hated my bday. everyone would wish that everyday was their bday, but, me, NEVER !!! I always wished that it never come and never will come. Not bcause of the fear of getting old ( no way !!I dun even think of it ) Just bcoz of the expereinces i had in my past bdays.they were never a happy wan. One time, i had a bday party, and it was a lousy bday, everyone was bored, and i felt very guilty for inviting them to my party. So, i cried bcoz the party was not good enough to entertain my guest. SO, from then on, i never had a bday celebration.
This year, mum said its my 21st bday, must celeb, i said :' no need la' the whole family was curious, but i never told them why. it was mainly my fear... fear that i will not be a good host. i still fear it now, guess it will continue to haunt me till i grow old...so..it seems that a happy bday party like the rest will never come true for me.But, i really must say thank you guys and girls for making my this 21st bday special to me. appreciate it a lot.
my best friend who just came back from singapore wanted to throw me a surprise party.but...too bad, i found out about it ..hehe. mum wanted to throw me a big bash party, then, i tot, who am i to desreve a party,,i am just a nobody, who would want to celebrate with me?if it were not for my cg friends in uni and my high school best friend, i would have again been a loner on my birthday. but, i really do wanna tahnk them a big deal and all my uni freinds, even if it were be just greeting me ' HAppy Birthday" was enough to make me feel so special on my supposedly special day. Every bday, i sure will cry wan. crying not of laughter, but crying bcoz i am sad, and that's bcoz of my bday. Ever since form 3 , i hated my bday. everyone would wish that everyday was their bday, but, me, NEVER !!! I always wished that it never come and never will come. Not bcause of the fear of getting old ( no way !!I dun even think of it ) Just bcoz of the expereinces i had in my past bdays.they were never a happy wan. One time, i had a bday party, and it was a lousy bday, everyone was bored, and i felt very guilty for inviting them to my party. So, i cried bcoz the party was not good enough to entertain my guest. SO, from then on, i never had a bday celebration.
This year, mum said its my 21st bday, must celeb, i said :' no need la' the whole family was curious, but i never told them why. it was mainly my fear... fear that i will not be a good host. i still fear it now, guess it will continue to haunt me till i grow old...so..it seems that a happy bday party like the rest will never come true for me.But, i really must say thank you guys and girls for making my this 21st bday special to me. appreciate it a lot.
posted by junie at 4:00 PM
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